From the reading, Personality Plus I found parts of the MyersBriggs Type Indicator, or M.B.T.I. test, to be interesting; especially the part about Judgers/Perceivers. The test operates on the belief ...
" Judgers 'like to live in a planned, orderly way, seeking to regulate and manage their lives,' according to an M.B.T.I, guide, whereas Perceivers 'like to live in a flexible, spontaneous way, seeking to experience and understand life, rather than control it.' "
I found this part particularly interesting because my boyfriend and I often have this conversation, however neither one of us i'm sure, realized the categories we very closely resemble. I often get upset when plans change because it throws off the schedule I hold in my head for each day. He on the other hand is terrible at making plans and likes to fly by the seat of his pants. I realize now that I am a judger, I like order, and regulation in my life. I set a plan in my head every morning, complete with time slots and transportation time pockets, about what will need to be done that day and in what order it needs completed. When these plans are disrupted or thrown off I often become upset, not because things aren't happening like I want them to, but rather because my brain has a hard time adjusting my schedule to the change and my thoughts become flustered. Often times my plans are disrupted though, dating someone who I now see is a perceiver causes my daily schedules to be thrown off quite often. He lives by the idea that things will happen when they do, and if somethings meant to happen it will happen eventually. He is always flexible and does things in his own time and when he feels the need to. I always thought I just had control issues but I know realize that I am a "judger" while he is a "perceiver" and this is where the difference lies. However I am getting better and becoming more flexible from spending time with him, holding true to the thought I've always held that other people's personalities can and do rub off on you, both good and bad traits.
I really like where you went with this post and using the example of how your boyfriends personality differs from youself to explain the Judgers and Perceivers. As I was reading I was thinking to myself that I definitely feel where you are coming from with your plans being disrupted by differing personality types, especially when it comes to boyfriends.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it is just me, or the relationships that I have experienced, but I wonder now if more men would be considered Perceivers while the girlfriends usually take on the Judgers role in the relationship. I feel that the women would rather have a plan in a relationship, while men are more okay with just seeing how and when things happen.
This is great. This category was actually my highest score in the 70%'s as a Judger. I agree that I do like to have a schedule and follow that but I am not going to turn down something that pops up just because of that schedule. I think it all really depends on what is keeping us from sticking to that schedule, I see the schedule more as a stress reliever and when something comes along that postpones something I really need to do then that stress level rises and its not good from there.
ReplyDeleteIs it just me or is the category of Judging seem very harsh for what the test describes as a Judger?
Karli, I am a judger as well! I make about twenty "to do" lists a day, always making sure that my whole day is planning out exactly. I always feel like if I do not have everything written down exactly, that I will forget something or will feel flustered. I think it is interesting how you commented on how your boyfriend and you interact with opposite personalities in this category.
ReplyDeleteI like what Jenn said in her comment as well. I have a feeling women are more under the judger category as well as men are more considered perceivers. From my experience at home, school, or work, it seems as though men are a little more carefree and less worried about everything that occurs in their day. From my last relationship, I think I could also agree that women want a little more of a plan in a relationship than men do. Maybe this explains it, or maybe it is just the age of the boys we interact with.